New Paging Service

From: Ed Scott (edscott@best.com-DeleteThis)
Date: Wed Apr 01 1998 - 11:49:48 PST

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Message-Id: <199804011949.LAA29022@scv1.apple.com-DeleteThis>
Subject: New Paging Service
Date: Wed, 1 Apr 98 11:49:48 -0800
From: Ed Scott <edscott@best.com-DeleteThis>
To: "Wind Talk" <wind_talk@opus.hpl.hp.com-DeleteThis>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="US-ASCII"

I just grabbed this one off the net:

New Paging Service Announced

VENTURA, April 1 (UPI) - Paging service Gall of the Wind announced today
a new paging service for windsurfers which takes advantage of recent
advances in wind sensor technology. Jim McMartin, president of Gall of
the Wind, announced that, in a continuing effort to serve the need of the
windsurfing community, the new Psychic pager will not only tell customers
what the current conditions are, but what the conditions will be.

"Our new pager receives signals from our remote sensors which employ the
recently developed relativistic wind sensors. These sensors continue to
provide current data, but also tell what the wind will be at a particular
location at least an hour in advance," he said.

According to Jan Nill, lead forecaster for the National Weather Service
in Carmel, California, these new sensors are already in wide use in the
military, and are already instrumental in scheduling military maneuvers
in tropical locations when the weather is best. "This allows military
planners to schedule maneuvers at the same time when they take their
vacation, saving taxpayer dollars," he said.

Nill said, "The sensors take advantage of the B wave which preceeds
pressures differentials at a given location. In combination with the
well-known S factor, forecasters can predict what the direction and speed
the wind will be blowing at a given location."

McMartin said, "The BS factor is already well-known in the military,
fishing and windsurfing communities, and it's only been recent advances
in sensor technology that have allowed us to place this BS into sensor
hardware."

McMartin also said that the Psychic pager would sport three new modes,
Boss/Spouse, Buddy and Kook.

When placed into Boss/Spouse mode, instead of "High Wind Alert" a user is
sent a page which mimics an actual page. This allows a windsurfer to
excuse himself from work or his significant other with the excuse that "I
have an important meeting" or "My wife is paging me" to go windsurfing.
The pager allows the user to select which mode he prefers and has
user-specifiable return phone numbers such as that of the CEO of his
company, or his wife's obstetrician. It also allows user-specifiable
text such as "I need to see you in my office right now" or "The
contractions are 5 minutes apart."

The new Buddy mode allows a user to back up his claims of "You shoulda
been here yesterday" or "It was honkin' two hours ago." This mode adds
to historical windspeed information until it reaches a certain threshold.
McMartin recommends that windsurfers corroborate these claims by dunking
equipment and wetsuits into the water.

Kook mode is especially useful, said McMartin. It allows subscribers to
vote for their favorite kooks, and will actually subtract windspeed data
from those subscribers' current pages at specified locations. "This
allows appropriate retribution for those that engage in such
reprehensible conduct such as rigging in the parking lot, or clogging up
mailing lists with too many 'Waddell is going off right now' messages,"
he said.

McMartin said that the new pagers are on order and will be available
"real soon now."

Gall of the Wind can be reached at 1-800-WINDGALL or www.windgall.com.

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