Memorial for Jay Today

From: Ken Poulton (
Date: Sun Jun 25 2006 - 12:54:39 PDT

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Subject: Memorial for Jay Today
Date: Sun, 25 Jun 2006 12:54:39 -0700
From: Ken Poulton <>

Subject: [3rdave] Jay: Memorial and remembrances ...
From: "Chris Moore" <>
Date: Fri, 23 Jun 2006 01:15:48 -0700
To: <>

Jay's family wants to hold a celebration of Jay's life with a BBQ at 3rd
Sunday evening starting a 7:15pm, following the King of the Bay awards
ceremony. Jay's family is flying in for this event. This will really be
a party so please come prepared - Jay's family will say a few words at
the beginning and you should come prepared with your favorite story
about Jay and your own barbequeables, grills, drinks, etc (it is
potluck). We think it would be cool to have candles out when it gets
dark so please bring some (think about bringing hurricane candles or
something that will not send out sparks and start a fire - the fire
department has been very good to us so far, we don't want to change
their attitude on Sunday).

Jay was remembered with a moment of silence during the skippers/racers
meeting in advance of the Cabrinha sponsored Thursday night kite races
at Crissy field today. As a participant with this crew, I can tell you
that a moment of silence amongst them all is pretty much equivalent to
putting a person on Mars, a remarkable event.. Katie Fowler also said
that wheels are in motion to ensure that Jay is remembered during King
of the Bay this weekend.

Cimeron and I spent the afternoon with Jay's brother Paul and sister in
law. They are doing remarkably well given the circumstances. We
exchanged a lot of stories that just made us collapse with laughter ...
with also shared tears over the loss. They are so comforted by hearing
about Jay's community of friends at 3rd. We shared all the details we
could think of about the circumstances of Jay's disappearance on June
4th and his recovery this week. I would like to think that the
information gives them some comfort by filling in gaps.


Paul feels very strongly that a memorial bench should be put in place.
Cimeron will spearhead making this happen (forgive me if this is
duplicative of a message she sent earlier). Paul has a very clear recall
of Jay building a bench at 3rd and being very upset when it was stolen.
Paul envisions something robust enough that it will require heavy
equipment to remove.


I think Sunday will give us all a great chance to laugh and share
stories about Jay (I really didn't know Jay all that well, I am just
learning that he also had quite the temper and foul mouth - something I
gather many viewed as common knowledge and very endearing). His brother
Paul is the spiting image of Jay.


As a final note I'd like to emphasis again that it seems best to focus
our energies on celebrating our friend Jay's life right now. I know that
speculating or venting frustrations about particular issues relating to
his death can be a form of grieving but I think this is best left to a
more private forum rather than our mailing list of nearly 200 people.




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