Top Ten Explanations for th

From: David Stuart (dstuart@qntm.com-DeleteThis)
Date: Tue Aug 22 1995 - 02:03:22 PDT


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Date: 22 Aug 1995 17:03:22 U
From: "David Stuart" <dstuart@qntm.com-DeleteThis>
Subject: Top Ten Explanations for th
To: wind_talk@opus.hpl.hp.com-DeleteThis
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        Reply to: Top Ten Explanations for the Spreader Bar

>someone asks: "What's the spreader bar?"

Direct from the home office in Sioux City Iowa, I happen to have the top ten
answers to that spreader bar question. What's the spreader bar?
OK, hhheeere we go!!!!!

#10: Its the device used to open your fists after sailing a 6.0m for three
hours when all of your friends were sailing overpowered on 5.0's.

#9: Its a cushioning device that prevents your abdomon from slapping
directly onto your sail in the event of a crash.

#8: Its a spare fin in the event that your normal fin is attacked by the
fatal fin snake, often found living in and about large floating but submerged
trees at Sherman Island.

#7: Its a new energy food, with the negative effect of uncontrollable knee
jerking. (Oh... wait...thats the "reactor bar".)

#6: It is a device that is used to reduce the spread between your mast base
and the bottom of your sail, using a 6 part pulley system, and replacing the
old method that utilized two teams of wild horses pulling in opposite
directions.

#5: Combined with a 30 knot gust, it is your free trip to the moon.

#4: It is the most common piece of equipment left lying around at home while
you are on the beach with the perfect rig in 25 knots of steady wind.

#3: Its a device used to test the strength of carbon booms during high
altitude jumps. Actually the test only works on landings when you were unable
to detach yourself prior to the jump. Especially effective on a big surf day
at Waddell, or at Rio during an epic ebb.

#2: It is the most durable piece of equipment in the sport of windsurfing,
and has been known to last over a year.

And the #1 explanation of a spreader bar is: It is a marketing ploy by the
chiropractic association to boost business dramatically.



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